Why reshaping memories may hold the key to raising self-esteem

One way to boost self-esteem is to update a troubling memory about yourself, says psychologist Marisa Franco. As your current self, go back in time and give your younger self the reassurance you needed to hear back then. It can give your current self a sense of catharsis. Malaka Gharib/NPR hide caption

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Have you ever said critical things to yourself when you feel any emotions? If so, it may be a sign you struggle with self-worth, says psychologist Marisa Franco . That means feeling good about yourself and "treating your emotions like they matter."

The good news is that self-worth is a skill that you can learn and get better at, says Franco, author of Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment , published in September. Drawing on the latest research in psychology and neuroscience, the book offers insights and exercises on how to build a stronger sense of value for yourself.

One effective way to do that is to revisit difficult memories, Franco says. This approach is based on memory reconsolidation theory, based on the work of behavioral neuroscientist Karim Nader .

"It's about looking back at these memories, giving yourself catharsis and allowing those feelings to move through you more so they don't continue to shape your sense of self right now," Franco says.

In a conversation with Life Kit, Franco explains the benefits of good self-esteem — and shares an exercise to boost your sense of self-worth. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Let's talk about memory reconsolidation. Researchers have found that we can transform our memories, and that can make us feel more worthy.